भर्खर विवाह गरेका नया जोडि मन्त्रिजिसँग आशिर्वाद माग्न गएछन्-
जोडि : मन्त्रि ज्यू हामिलाई आशिर्वाद दिनुस! …
मन्त्रिजि : “अहँ मन्त्रिको काम होईन मात्रै उदघाटन गर्ने हो ।” उदघाटन गर्न दिने भये गरुला !…………………
Welcome aboard! You are one of our most valued new employees. Enclosed please find some helpful guidelines to company policy.
OVERTIME – The Company has an optional overtime policy – you have the option of working forty hours of overtime or eighty hours of overtime.
A Software Engineer, a Hardware Engineer and a Departmental Manager were on their way to a meeting. They were driving down a steep mountain road when suddenly the brakes on their car failed. The car careened almost out of control down the road, bouncing off the crash barriers, until it miraculously ground to a halt scraping along the mountainside. The car’s occupants, shaken but unhurt, now had a problem: they were stuck halfway down a mountain in a car with no brakes. What were they to do?
The boss was complaining in our staff meeting the other day that he wasn’t getting any respect.
Later that morning he went to a local sign shop and bought a small sign that read:
An engineer, a physicist, a mathematician, and a mystic were asked to name the greatest invention of all times.
The engineer chose fire, which gave humanity power over matter.
The physicist chose the wheel, which gave humanity the power over space.
The mathematician chose the alphabet, which gave humanity power over symbols.
The mystic chose the thermos bottle.
“Why a thermos bottle?” the others asked.
“Because the thermos keeps hot liquids hot in winter and cold liquids cold in summer.”
“Yes — so what?”
“Think about it.” said the mystic reverently. That little bottle — how does it know?”
Three men: a project manager, a software engineer, and a hardware engineer are helping out on a project. About midweek they decide to walk up and down the beach during their lunch hour. Halfway up the beach, they stumbled upon a lamp. As they rub the lamp a genie appears and says “Normally I would grant you three wishes, but since there are three of you, I will grant you each one wish.”
The hardware engineer went first. “I would like to spend the rest of my life living in a huge house in St. Thomas with no money worries.” The genie granted him his wish and sent him on off to St. Thomas.
The software engineer went next. “I would like to spend the rest of my life living on a huge yacht cruising the Mediterranean with no money worries.” The genie granted him his wish and sent him off to the Mediterranean.
Last, but not least, it was the project manager’s turn. “And what would your wish be?” asked the genie.
“I want them both back after lunch” replied the project manager.
A man calls the fire department and says, “Yes, I have just had my front yard landscaped, I have a nice new flower bed, a new fish pond with a fountain and a new rose garden.”
“Very nice,” the firefighter says, “but what does that have to do with the fire service?”
“Well,” the man answers, “the house next door is on fire and I don’t want you to trample my front yard.”
A project manager, a computer programmer and a computer operator are driving down the road when the car they are in gets a flat tire. The three men try to solve the problem.
The project manager said: “Let’s catch a cab and in ten minutes we’ll reach our destination.”
The computer programmer said: “We have here the driver’s guide. I can easily replace the flat tire and continue our drive.”
The computer operator said: “First of all, let’s turn off the engine and turn it on again. Maybe it will fix the problem.”
Suddenly a Microsoft software engineer passed by and said: “try to close all windows, get off the car, and then get in and try again.”
Source:
A guy walks into the human resources department of a large company and hands the executive his application. The executive begins to scan the sheet, and notices that the applicant has been fired from every job he has ever held.
“I must say,” says the executive, “your work history is terrible. You’ve been fired from every job.”
“Yes,” says the man.
“Well,” continues the executive, “there’s not much positive in that.”
“Hey!” says the guy as he pokes the application. “At least I’m not a quitter.”
Dev Sharma was the oldest of 7 children, so he had to quit school and work to help support his younger brothers and sisters. He never learned to read, so when he married and started a checking account, he signed his checks simply “XX”.
Eventually he started his own business, which immediately prospered.
He soon was a very rich man. One day, he got a call from his bank. “Mr. Dev,” said the banker, “I need to ask you about this check. We weren’t sure you had really signed it. All these years you’ve been signing your checks ‘XX’, but we just got one that was signed with three XXX’s…”
Mr.Dev answered, “No problem, my friend. It’s just that since I’ve become so wealthy, my wife thought I ought to have a middle name.”
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